August 8, 2008

Hi Mom,

How are things?  It's been 20 years now since you left. I know you didn't mean to go when you did but then that wasn't your choice either. I think it was a Sunday when you left. As good a day as can be to go home. I was on the radio that day. Tom called Eileen and Eileen called me. I knew-we all knew, you were getting ready to go but even though we were getting prepared , we weren't ready for you to leave- And I don't think I'm there yet.

So I guess it's been a long 20 years-though in someways very short. Let me tell you how things have gone since you left. I'll try to keep things positive-because Mom-that was you. Always looking for the best in every situation and in everyone. Those things that weren't positive were well "good for our character"  :^) I know I'll forget a lot of things that you would have loved to have heard about but I'm sure the other kids or dad will fill in the gaps...

First of all Eileen and I are grand parents. Melissande and Greg will have been married 6 years already in just a couple of days from now. Rowan came into the world just over two years ago-He is the spitting image of Greg-I mean Melissande, I mean humm well take your pick! Melissande and Greg are making plans to adopt- They are looking for children from over seas. Ethiopia, Romania or Russia I think, are the countries. It costs a lot of money up front even though they'll get some back-actually a lot  back in taxes rebates and grants and stuff-still the up front costs are pretty high so any good word you can put in for them will certainly help some otherwise less than blessed child.

O'Neill was a baby when you left. I still have the video of you holding him on his baptism day. You would not come close to being able to pick him up now-He is 6 3 and a 1/2- taller than me actually! He has been working for Angelfood Catering since he was 17 or was it 16? -(Did you have anything to do with this ??  ha ha). He has become quite an asset for Mike and Judy and is a favorite among the crew there. O'Neill is living at home and paying his way through school- about 9 credits per semester---humm12 would get him through a bit faster! But still he has always done things on his schedule-nobody else's' .. He bought his own car and has been paying his own way in just about everything. Eileen and I are very proud of him- O'Neill still sings now and then with a pick up group but hasn't been consistently active -still his music collection is very eclectic. You 'd love having his stuff playing in the shop-You'd hardly ever have to leave because you couldn't stand hearing grown men " crying over missin' their baby"

Spencer is over 19 now. You left just when he was getting ready to say hi to all of us. Now he 's old enough to set out on his own! But we are glad he is still living at home even though he isn't home much! Spencer just got back from Mexico on a mission trip-That was his fourth time down there./ He's also been to New Orleans at least twice- helping in the rebuilding of homes for widows. Spencer will never let moss grow under his feet. He graduated this spring from a cool program-he got his HS diploma plus a 2 year college Associates Degree. This fall he'll be at Eastern to finish up his bachelor's degree...He really loves building stuff- Imagine that! Where do you suppose he got that gene?  Ha ha....Remember the guitar you and Dad gave me for Christmas one year?-Well I never really learned to play it-actually Eileen's parents gave her the same brand and model guitar we think the same year!....Anyway I gave him my guitar a couple of years ago- He played around with it a bit then left it. Now he's rediscovered it and can strum along pretty well.

Eileen has emerged from the doldrums. Boy is she glad! all those med's she was on-She's off them all! You have really been busy  up there! She fell and broke her arm on Easter Sunday though-did I tell you that? Not good for the piano player. Its coming along but is slow in total healing. Eileen got a beautiful baby grand a couple of years ago. She had been wanting one for so long. It is the center piece of the living room- I even made a bench to go with it. ....Mom-I believe this is Eileen's year-but she's gonna need some help-some real encouragement-.No one was better at that than you. A lot of us try-some times we even make a respectable showing- but most often our own troubles, cares and concerns and dare I say vanities... jump up and turn things away from focus of others and back on us. So I guess I'm really hoping that this year things will take a permanent turn. I know she's ready and determined.

Mom I'm going to let  Jane, Larry, Tom and Dana tell you about their lives and families but--- I have to tell you about Ashely. Well I suppose  Dana and Kim already have, still  she was a contestant in the Miss America Pageant this year.!!!! It was in Las Vegas and Dad made arrangements for us to be there. Mom it was so amazing. The 50 or was it 51? girls were really skilled and talented. Our hearts were busting though to see Ashely on that big stage. She wasn't one of those chosen for the top 10 but you know... she was OK with that.Ashley was good friends with Miss Michigan-she felt Mis Mich was going to do well-and she did. Miss Michigan won. Later she invited Ashely to her  "coming Home Party " here in Michigan-and I think she in turn was at the  Miss North Dakota Pageant  when Ashely handed over her crown to the New Miss North Dakota....But Mom, the most amazing thing was after the finals when all the girls were done- They named Ashley "Miss Congeniality"...well you didn't take EVERYTHING with you when you left!  ....It was a beautiful night.

You know Mom the last time you we here I was in radio-wow that was a long time ago. I got fired. Did I tell you that?  I did not take that very well. I moped around for ..well,....too long. anyway I ended up back at the U of M. I work in a small machine shop- In fact I AM the Machine shop!. I have my own shop-A lathe, a drill press and a Bridgeport..a full 49" one too! So as Paul Harvey says "you can run but you can't hide"  I am a Young so I think I need to be in a shop...I've made some cool things there. Dad is proud of me. Hey so am I!  But then I've always had a strange confident spirit that borders too often on vanity then suddenly on incompetence!  Anyway I am very happy in the machine shop.  But I tell you what Mom I'm really happiest in my shop at home-I've been building a lot of furniture  in the last few years, and it really consumes all my creative and physical energies. Even in church I am usually drawing some design on the bulletins.-I do listen though-really I do. In fact I think I listen better when I'm drawing....I think you'd like most of things I've been turning out lately. I made a cool thing for Dad. I can't tell you what it is because I made it for his 80th birthday this fall and if he sees this letter I don't want him to know what it is. hehe heh...  I'm also working on a really cool desk. It was going to be for my office but Eileen has seen the piece taking shape and she wants to have it in the living room-That's fine with me. I just hope it fits, it's kinda big....

Dad is going to be 80 and I haven't been home in 3 years. I've seen  Dad at least once a year as he came to the furniture shows in Milwaukee and has been over here to the cabin several times. I saw Larry at some Michigan Tech games last fall and at one of the furniture shows...we saw Jane and Dana in Las Vegas and in Milwaukee but I haven't seen Tom since the summer of 2005. So I am going back this fall. The gas prices are a real pain but I know you'd find a way to make it happen...Please say hi to Alvin and Ruth- you know Larry is living in the farm house. He is so great for that place. He has taken such good care of it. Granddad and Gramma would be very proud of him!

Life was easier when you were here Mom- easier because you made other people better people. Now you left that job to us-this not an easy job. In fact it is rather difficult to raise others expectations of themselves and to shine the light on their own possibilities without crushing them with the enormity of the task at the same time. But I know you'd be proud of your children ...by the choices they've made, the lives they have lead and the lives they have in turn touched. You'd be proud of Dad too. He is a proud man but a humble man. He faces each day with a holy confidence despite the constant availability of fear and uncertainty the world has to offer-he continues to do as you did-find a way to make it a better place.

So Mom-I know I've left out some sad stuff and a whole lot of funny, exciting things too. We miss you Mom but I guess we will wait patiently while attending to the day's task at hand ...to make way for THE Day. 

I love you Mom.

Alan

August 8,2008

Lois and Roland 1986